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I'm still awake watching the snow fall out my window. I miss your voice, so I'm watching all your videos. Is this all there is? Do you still want this? I don't know how good I'll be if I can't fall asleep with you. It's 4 A.M. again, and I'm still pacing in my room. My mind feels like a mess. i'm afraid that this isn't my best.
Well I'm done trying to learn why I'm dying and start making sense of my life. I wish I could do anything; worth more of something than picturing you with your clothes off. But I guess that's all I'll be; a fuck up, a nothing. That's how i feel when you're not around.
What's keeping my eyes from closing? From wetting? I miss you more than i can stand. I haven't cried in years, but I still don't feel like a man. I'm writing this song in my school books. I guess I'm over this shit. This weather and all this pressure is making a blizzard in my heart. I'm losing track of my days. i'm losing track of myself, but I think that I'm okay.
I wish this could be my last sad song, but too much of me is too far gone.
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Can you tell me what it's like back home? I'm afraid of all these brand new faces, I feel so alone. I miss the grinding concrete and skating down the parking garage. snapbacks and backpacks. Bottled water and the rooftop sunset. I swear to god I'm tougher than I look. Theres not a whole lot of man left here, but I'd still cut off my right foot to find a way to make all these things last. I'm sick of the shit I did as a kid coming back to kick my ass.
Well me and Toby smoked a lot of pot that summer. And I don't ever wanna be sober, cause I'm afraid I won't remember how the wind felt blowing in our ears. or how her kisses feel, My heart pounds when she draws near.
I wish that I could make it back home. I miss your bright green eyes, your cutsie sighs, and all the shit we've been through. I dream of nights sleeping in your bed. I won't ask a lot, i just want you to be there when I die.
you're my whole world.
I'll build you everything you've ever wanted, or break my arms trying
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I don't want to fall asleep again. My heart aches too much and hurts my head. 'Cause in the morning you won't be there. It kicks my ass to think that you don't care. What else can i do?
I'll build a castle out of my clothes. I'll call this place home; Keep the lions in my chest warm. I'll keep the wolves away and make peace with my ghosts.
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I hope this year will treat my liver well, 'cause I've been drinking the ocean. My kitchen floor is falling to pieces. My nights are spent battling insects. i remember everything. So why can't I remember your voice? I've had all these years to think of the things I would have said before you called the sea your home.
I see the way you look at me. feels like your eyes could destroy me and leave this lost boy all alone. I'm alone.
Life is hard but not as hard as the water temple. i don't think I got what it takes to make it through.
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5. |
About The Wolves
02:53
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I built a fire in our yard and in my heart. It was the first fire I ever made. It kept my chest warm. It kept you close.
I only know two constellations. I'll pretend to know more because I wanted to impress you.
But you say you don't need them. You say you need "this" and point at my chest.
This fire will burn your wolves to death.
I still smell smoke. My eyes close on orion's belt
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Spooky Mulder Fayetteville, West Virginia
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